Round 1

Anderson felt a jolt and his vision blurred for a few seconds. When he could see clearly, he was no longer in the theater, he was in an open grassy field. The field stretched on for miles. Nothing but blue skies and sunshine. In front of him materialized a picnic blanket with two identical little girls in front of him. The girls both began to cry loudly. To his right appeared an attractive young woman with long dark brown hair. She had a pretty face and looked about average height for a woman. She couldn't have been more than 20 years old. She wore a posh blue suit complete with blazer, skirt and red five inch heels. The woman looked around the field with an unsure expression.

The monotone voice sounded clearly, "Your first challenge awaits. whoever can comfort the little girl best wins. You have one minute. Your time starts now."

Anderson watched as the woman quickly approached the right most girl and began to reassure her softly with a very motherly voice. Anderson awkwardly lumbered his way to the left girl. She looked up at him with tears streaming down her face. Anderson was really unsure what to do as he had little experience with children.

Anderson nervously asked, "Hey - uh, kid, you okay?"

Anderson put his hand out but quickly put it behind his head and scratched awkwardly. The girl continued to cry. Anderson looked over, the woman had pulled the little girl into a hug and was whispering into her ear. The woman had tears of her own streaming down her face. The right girl had slowed her crying, and appeared to be responding well to the woman's tactics.

"It's gonna be okay, kid. Come on now." The girl continued her crying. Well this is a lost cause, Anderson thought. After a few more seconds the girls dissipated and the woman started to wipe away her tears.

Doctor Grungot's voice spoke from the sky, "Wow Anderson, that was truly terrible, you really need to work on your empathy skills, don't you?"

Anderson could hear the crowd laughing in the background.

"I think I can help you with that. Or, rather, Danielle can help you with that."

The woman threw a shy smile towards Anderson.

"You see, Danielle is a special case. She grew up in a household that forced her to be the caretaker for her younger brothers and sisters. She didn't spend Saturday nights partying and socializing with friends, no, she spent it changing diapers and babysitting for her busy parents. The problem is, Danielle is no longer a caretaker, she is trying to become a high powered executive. She is certainly smart enough and capable enough but she lacks the emotional toughness that is required to be the boss. She cares too much about the feelings of her subordinates. A woman's curse, am I right folks? I think that maternal empathy would be best served with somebody else don't you?"

Anderson began to feel a tingle in his head as new feelings washed over him. He looked over at Danielle who was staring directly at him, with a wicked grin. He could feel energy pushing its way into him; directly from Danielle. She was over-powering his masculinized emotional stubbornness with raw feminine softness. Years of skills and habits gained as a pseudo mother were learned and habitualized in an instant.

Anderson started to cry, beginning to think about the poor little girl he failed to comfort minutes before. He held his calloused hand over his mouth as he sobbed. He couldn't even remember the last time he had cried but the tears flowed uncontrollably. Danielle stood triumphantly, no longer burdened by years of learned empathy.

"But that isn't really fair, is it folks?" Doc continued, "This is called Doc Grungot's Exchange Extravaganza! What will Mr. Johannson give in return?"

Danielle began to speak, her voice rather meek, "I could really use expertise in a subject to relate to my male coworkers a little better."

"Right on Danielle, I think all of Mr. Johannson's sports trivia knowledge would suffice! What do you think audience!?"

Anderson started to panic. He had spent thousands of hours watching sports throughout his life. It was a powerful symbol of identity for him growing up. He and his friends would spend all night talking excitedly about their favorite sports stars. It was also an identifying tool among adult men. A man is expected to know at least a bit about professional and college sports. You know who wasn't expected to know much about sports? A common woman. His head began to tingle again as decades of sports knowledge was ripped from his head. He remembers doing everything with his friends; and enjoying himself, but the knowledge was lost. Anderson began to cry even harder as he tried desperately to remember even the most common knowledge of pro sports. As he was starting to unravel, Anderson managed to pull himself back and collect himself.

Doctor Grungot spoke with an amused expression, "Mr. Johannson, if you can answer one trivia question i'll reverse the changes and let you leave, no questions asked! What is a 'full count' in baseball? Every man on the planet should know the answer to this."

Anderson thought for a long time. He tried to remember anything about baseball. He knew there were players...they wear hats and use a ball and bases.

"I-it's when the player hits the ball and it goes really far so nobody can catch it?"

"Oh no Mr. Johannson, that's called a home run! A full count is when the batter has three balls and two strikes! Tough luck champ, looks like you have to keep playing!"

"Say goodbye to Danielle everybody! I'm sure we'll be seeing her soon, she has many skills she needs to acquire from Mr. Johannson if she wants to be a successful business woman!"

NAME: ANDERSON LARRY JOHANNSON

HEIGHT: 6"06

WEIGHT: 240 LBS

AGE: 35

HAIR: BALD

VOICE: DEEP AND BOOMING

FACIAL HAIR: BLACK, BUSHY FULL BEARD AND MUSTACHE

EYES: SMALL, BROWN WITH POOR EYESIGHT, INTENSE STARE, SHORT EYELASHES

FACIAL FEATURES: STRONG MANLY JAW, LARGE EARS, WIDE NOSE, HEAVY BROW, THICK NECK WITH PROMINENT ADAMS APPLE, THIN CRACKED LIPS, WIDE FOREHEAD

BUILD: HUGE MUSCLED ARMS AND LEGS, BROAD SHOULDERS, STRONG BACK, COVERED IN THICK BLACK HAIR, FLAT BUT MUSCULAR ASS, NARROW HIPS, SLIGHT BEERBELLY

CHEST: FLAT, MUSCLED PECS COVERED IN THICK BLACK HAIR, SMALL NIPPLES

EXTREMITIES: LARGE CALLOUSED HANDS, HAIRY THIRTEEN INCH FEET, SHORT DIRTY NAILS

GENITALS: THICK, HAIRY PENIS. TEN INCHES IN LENGTH WHEN ERECT, FOUR INCHES WHILE FLACCID. BULBOUS BALLS WITH LOW HANGING SACK

TATTOOS: NONE

PIERCINGS: NONE

OUTFIT: BLACK AND BLUE SKIN TIGHT SUIT. FULLY COVERED ARMS, LEGS AND TORSO. TIGHT IN THE CROTCH AREA SHOWING MANLY BULGE. BLACK ATHLETIC SHOES.

SEXUAL PREFERENCE: ONLY CONSIDERS WOMEN SEXUALLY AND ROMANTICALLY ATTRACTIVE. STONGLY PREFERS TO BE DOMINENT IN SEXUAL INTERCOURE. PREFERS PARTNERS WITH LARGE BREASTS AND WIDE HIPS

EXPERTISE: CONSTRUCTION, HANDY MAN WORK, Taking care of small children, PLAYBOY MODEL CUP SIZES, MUSCLE CAR HISTORY